London Calling

19Sep17

London

In the latest episode of my show for America;

Storm Aileen hits Britain.
Do you brush your teeth in the shower?
Speed cameras.
Where will the next royal baby be born?
Houseguests from hell.
Do public holidays cause panda pregnancies in Scotland?
A phone scam.
Confusion over the new iPhones.
Offensive candy.
A conversation about astrophysics and religion with Jim from Philadelphia.

Listen to London Calling – Episode 49, here;
http://www.talkers.com/talkersradio/london-calling/london-calling-with-graham-mack-episode-48/

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

If you enjoyed this Craic, please click “like” and tweet a link.

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Nutters

Britain’s budget shop, ‘Poundland’ has been hit with a backlash because it sells Peanut M&M knock-offs called ‘Nutters’.

The packets have three peanut-shaped cross-eyed cartoon characters on them with their mouths wide open.

Mental health campaigners say that they are “offensive” and have called for Poundland to stop selling them.

We live in a strange world where mental illness is used as a marketing tool. Most local radio DJs are peanut shaped, have their photo taken crosseyed with their mouth wide open and love being called, “bonkers”.

In Australia there’s a chain of discount stores called, “Crazy Prices”.

There’s also a place that sells fitted kitchens called, “Mad Barry’s”.

And in New Zealand there’s a chain of meat shops called, “The Mad Butcher”.

What I want to know is, if they ban “Nutters”, are supermarkets still going to be allowed to sell fruitcakes?

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

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Xphone

Apple are starting to confuse me now.

The new iPhone is out, actually there are two new ones. The iPhone 8 replaces the iPhone 7. They’ve also released the iPhone 10 (X). They’ve skipped 9 completely.

Each new Apple phone has more features than the last but they’re also taking things away.

The iPhone 7, doesn’t have a headphone jack.

The iPhone X doesn’t have a home button.

The iPhone 9 doesn’t have anything!

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

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No Panda Pop

12Sep17

Panda

Edinburgh Zoo has announced that their female giant panda will NOT give birth to cubs this year.

Just before the last public holiday of the year, the zoo announced that Tian Tian might be expecting, which reminded us that the zoo still has pandas and might be worth a visit.

It is the sixth time the zoo has announced that Tian Tian might be pregnant just before a public holiday.

The zoo is not expected to announce another possible panda pregnancy until at least the next public holiday at Christmastime but more likely, Easter when the weather is better for a trip to the zoo.

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

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I had a chat with the broadcasting legend Tony Prince. He talked about meeting Elvis in Las Vegas, the truth about Colonel Tom Parker and Tony’s early life and career that took him from spinning discs and introducing the Beatles in a northern ballroom to broadcasting to an international audience of 100 million on Radio Luxembourg. He talks about working with Paul McCartney, Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin and his friendship with Keith Moon. He also talks about the film he’s pitching based on his book, “The Royal Ruler And The Railway DJ” and his new project that could bring back the spirit of Radio Luxembourg with a little help from Mike Read, Timmy Mallett, Neil Fox and friends.

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

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Shower

Do you brush your teeth in the shower?

A major debate has broken out on Twitter. Some people say it’s the way to go but others say it’s just plain weird.

I brush my teeth in the shower because I have a shower rather than a bath.

And peeing in the bath is disgusting.

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

If you enjoyed this Craic, please click “like” and tweet a link.


True Brit

06Sep17

BNP

“British jobs for British workers”. – That’s basically what the leaked blueprint for Brexit looks like. The Home Office, plans to slam the door on thousands of unskilled EU migrants.

The idea that migrants are stealing British jobs is false and based entirely on prejudice.

The UK unemployment rate is currently the lowest it’s been since 1975, that’s a 42-year low. Official figures show that unemployment in the UK, FELL by 57,000 in the three months to June, bringing the jobless rate down to 4.4%. This has happened during a time of what the UK press constantly describes as “mass” immigration. But foreign citizens represent only 10.7% of people in total employment in the UK.

If immigrants ARE NOT taking British jobs, they must have come here to abuse our social welfare system, right? A 2014 British social attitudes survey found that 24% of the public believed the most common motive for immigration was welfare.

Well, about two-thirds of immigrants who arrive in the UK already have job offers, while 93% of people claiming welfare payments are British nationals.

You don’t need to look at the figures to see what’s going on. My wife works in retail. Her bosses are from Russia & South Africa, she works with a Pole and a Canadian. I don’t know where the lads who wash my car are from but I haven’t seen any British people their age washing cars for a living lately. Do Brits of that age think that kind of work is beneath them, especially if THEY are fluent in at least two languages?

I know someone who has been on the dole for almost three years. She has university degrees, so won’t lower herself to work in a shop or a hotel and chose to live off handouts instead.

I’ve been an immigrant. Three years after we got married, Julie and I moved to Australia, we wanted a better life. We didn’t know anyone in Australia, we just went for it. I was an air-conditioning repairman in Sydney, Julie worked in a photo-processing shop. We’ve never worked so hard in our lives. It wasn’t till the second week on the job that I actually stopped for lunch. When you move to a new country, it’s sink or swim, so you instantly develop an immigrant work ethic.   

Immigrants CHOSE to live in the country they move to, it’s not an accident of birth, so they’re more likely to make the most of the opportunities they get in their new county. They’re more grateful and don’t feel as entitled. 

Research from University College London shows that migrants from the European Economic Area contributed 34% more in taxes than they received in benefits between 2001 and 2011 in Britain.

Immigrants are not parasites, the opposite is true. Every day I walk past the real parasites, the people abusing what this country has to offer. They live in the council houses across the road from me. They’re nice houses in a nice area, each one has a Sky dish. Their late model cars are parked outside, they drink and play loud music all day while the rest of us are out at work. They’re all white British people, part of the 93% of people claiming welfare payments and benefits that are British nationals.

They’re the real scroungers, the real burden on our society. What do they contribute? Why should they get priority over immigrants in a post Brexit plan? Are British born people considered special? Don’t kid yourself, this is all about race and history tells us where that kind of thinking leads.

Britain is built on an immigrant work ethic and without “mass” immigration, major industries wouldn’t survive in modern Britain, important industries like farming, the National Health Service and the hospitality industry that caters for the tourists that bring money into the country.

And what would you eat without immigration, without Curry, Italian, French, Greek, Turkish, Chinese or Thai food? Fish and chips was brought to the UK by a Jewish refugee.

Instead of slamming the doors on immigration we should be flinging those doors wide open.

But if we continue to be a narrow minded population of racists and bigots, why would anyone want to come here?

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

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Mourning Show

03Sep17

Diana

I spoke to a lot of people last week that said they are are fed up of hearing about the death, twenty years ago, of someone they never knew, never met and didn’t have any effect on their life at all.

There were special programs on TV and radio every day last week dedicated to the sad events of that day in 1997. One-off programs would be fine but some networks have been running entire series about it. It’s just like twenty years ago when the news media got the balance, and I have to say some of the facts, wrong about the nation’s response to the tragedy.

When the news came in about Diana’s death, I lived in Bournemouth on England’s South Coast. It’s a royalist stronghold, but the effect on the everyday lives of the people there was minimal.

When I turned on the telly that Sunday morning, I was shocked by the news of her death. I worked at the local commercial radio station, 2CRFM and although I wasn’t rostered on that day, I drove into work. Traffic was about what you’d expect for that time of the morning, people were going about their Sunday morning business. I didn’t see a single person crying.

That night Julie and I went to the cinema and watched “Men In Black”. Once again the roads were as busy as normal for a Sunday and so were the bars and restaurants on Westover Road and the cinema was full.

That week, like most people I went to work as normal and on the following Saturday, the day of Diana’s funeral, I went to a wedding. None of the guests decided to stay away and nobody thought having a five piece rock band at the reception while Diana’s funeral played out on the telly, was inappropriate. In fact there were no TVs at the reception.
But when I turned on the television that week, all I saw was pictures of people wailing at palace gates and seas of flowers. Newspapers talked about, “A nation in mourning”.

I presented the Breakfast Show on 2CR and was told to play it cool. The playlist was changed to reflect the nation’s somber mood. We dropped all contests but we still reported on traffic problems, because life continued as normal for most people on their daily commute.

By the Tuesday, I’d had enough and we went back to normal programing. Every other radio station was still wallowing in it and playing panpipe music but 2CR, broadcasting to the royalist South Coast was playing The Rembrandts, Oasis and The Spice Girls. People called in to guess “The Secret Sound” and win money on “The Birthday Wheel”. We didn’t get a single complaint.

Meanwhile, the news media continued to report on events in a parallel universe where the death of the Princess had stopped the nation.

The death of Diana was a tragedy but the bigger tragedy was the news media’s death of the truth. And if they’re not careful they could also be responsible for the death of historical accuracy.

 

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

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Mack Nuggets

02Sep17

Here’s what I’ve been up to on BOBfm lately, including:

Tom Cruise in trouble in London.
Songs with your name in them.
Is Elvis really dead?
Electric cars ARE the future.
What would you tax?
Etiquette faux pas.
The last Big Ben Bong.
Why Britain is the greatest country on earth.
The bathing suite insult.
Memories of radio in New Zealand.
The worst jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
Hotel stories.
After The Great British Bake Off, what is the next big TV format?
The driverless convoys.
A special birthday song.
The real reason Faith No More go “Ewwww..”

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

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London Calling

29Aug17

Slim Jim

In my latest show for America, Slim Jim Phantom talks about the success of The Stray Cats from starting out in London to making it in America, the breakup, the reunions and how he’s worked with rock ‘n’ roll royalty.

In, “What’s Happening In Britain” – Reaction to the terror attacks in Barcelona; Why Britain is the greatest country on earth, or is it?; Memories of radio in New Zealand; How British weather forecasts are a joke; Wedding stories; Big Ben bull; Bad parenting making the world better; Sport on the public highway and hotel nightmares.

Listen to Episode 45 of London Calling here;
http://www.talkers.com/talkersradio/london-calling/london-calling-with-graham-mack-episode-45-slim-jim-phantom-part-2/

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

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Poundland

28Aug17

Graph

Britain’s currency is in crisis.

The value of the pound has dropped by 13 percent since the vote to leave the EU last June.

The 51.9% who voted for us to leave are the same people who didn’t want us to ditch the pound and switch to the Euro years ago. The irony is, experts now predict the pound will be worth the same as the Euro by next year.

So in effect, the pound will be the Euro!


Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

If you enjoyed this Craic, please click “like” and tweet a link.


Trucks

Convoys of driverless trucks will be on British roads soon.

The Government is going to pay for trials of semi-autonomous goods vehicles. A human will drive the lead truck which will be followed by drone trucks piloted by computers.

Now they could just have one truck pulling a couple of trailers like they do in Australia, they call them “road trains”…

Road Train

 

But no, we’re going to have convoys of brainless vehicles following the leader. – Just like a political party really!

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

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London Calling

26Aug17

London CallingIn the latest episode of my show for America; Tom Cruise slips up in London, Big Ben loses his voice, a wedding crasher, drinking at airports, the Antarctic expedition that was a piece of cake and how the classic red British phone box is an endangered species.

Listen to Episode 44 of London Calling here;
http://www.talkers.com/talkersradio/london-calling/london-calling-with-graham-mack-episode-44/

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

If you enjoyed this Craic, please click “like” and tweet a link.


The things politicians think are important are usually different to the things that the people who voted for them think are important.

The bongs of Big Ben in Westminster have sounded for the final time for four years. The clock is being repaired.

Members of Parliament gathered outside the Houses of Parliament yesterday to mark the occasion of the bell’s final chimes. In New Palace Yard, around 200 parliamentary staff watched the tower while Big Ben bonged.

MP Stephen Pound wiped a tear from his eye. He said, “This is a desperately sad moment and you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone”. He described it as, “a moment of sombre sadness”.

Oh please, get a grip, it’s just a bell! This would be big news if the year was 1822, but we don’t need Big Ben to tell the time any more, we all have clocks on our wrists or in our pockets now!

More MPs showed up to hear the last chimes of Big Ben than made the five mile journey across town to Grenfell Tower where at least 80 people died in a fire, trapped in their homes! Did Steven Pound shed a tear for them?

Making the sound of a Bell in London into a big issue when no one knows what’s going on over Brexit, the National Health Service is in crisis and there are extra security fears just days after the latest attack in Barcelona, is either plain silly or a deliberate attempt to direct our attention away from the stuff that really matters.

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

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The Wet Office

21Aug17

Rain

It’s bad enough that we haven’t had a summer but why can’t the Met Office get it right?

Right now, it’s pouring down in the South East of England. It’s on days like these every year that I go back and look at the forecast that the Met Office issued three months ago, promising us the hottest and driest summer on record. Well I don’t have to go back that far.

This is from YESTERDAY’s Daily Mail, “Summer returns to Britain TOMORROW as Hurricane Gert brings Caribbean air and 82F – making the country hotter than Mexico and Greece”.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4807406/Summer-returns-Britain-TOMORROW-Hurricane-Gurt-heat.html

Honestly, Met Office, you get all of the information from satellites and weather balloons that is constantly updated and a full-time staff of over fifteen hundred people and a budget of £170 million a year and you still can’t get it right?!

And you know that massive super-computer that cost the taxpayer £97 million? You might want to turn it off and turn it back on!

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

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Tomfoolery

18Aug17

They don’t call it Mission Impossible for nothing! Tom Cruise has hurt himself filming Mission Impossible 6. Tom broke his ankle in two places while filming a jump between high-rise buildings in London.

Of course if Tom Cruise wants to take on a REALLY impossible mission, he should try explaining the plots of the last five Mission Impossible films!

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

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Phone Box

A little piece of Britain is going to die.

There’s hardly anything more British than little red payphone boxes. This week British Telecom announced that they’re going to scrap 20,000 payphones and thousands of those are in red phone boxes.

The traditional red phone boxes became an endangered species way before everyone had mobile phones. In the 90s a lot of them were replaced by sleek stainless steel jobs. Yuppies bought up the old red phone boxes and used them as shower cubicles in their docklands flats. The irony is that the new shiny silver ones that replaced them on our streets, looked more like shower cubicles.

When all of the red phone boxes are gone, the real problem is going to be at night, where are drunks going to pee?!

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

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boozyJet

16Aug17

Boozyjet

The British can’t handle their drink. They get drunk any chance they can and even brag about it.

They drink the most, when they’re on holiday. The first chance they get is at the airport. When I catch a flight early in the morning, I’m amazed at how packed the bar is.

About 270m passengers passed through UK airports last year and spent an estimated £300m ($439m) on alcohol. Around a fifth of total retail sales in British airports is on booze!

Arrests of passengers suspected of being drunk at UK airports and on flights have risen by 50% in a year. A total of 387 people were arrested between February 2016 and February 2017 – up from 255 the previous year.

The Civil Aviation Authority reported a 600% increase in disruptive passenger incidents in the UK between 2012 and 2016 with most involving drink. More than half of cabin crew surveyed said they’d witnessed disruptive drunken passenger behaviour.

People who get drunk before they get on a plane are not nervous flyers, they’re scared of being sober.

Something changed in this county. I left Britain in 1983 and lived in New Zealand & Australia. Before I left, people used to be embarrassed about getting drunk. The next day they’d apologise and say, “I think I was ‘tipsy’ last night” or sheepishly say, “I think I had one too many”. When I came back to the UK in 1997, I noticed that people had started to boast about getting drunk. I remember a workmate saying to me, “I was so wasted last night, I came home and threw up in the frying pan!”

Call me nostalgic but I miss the embarrassment and the shame and I don’t like seeing drunks at the airport.

I miss the old days when the most disgusting example of drinking at the airport was when you’d see an old bloke slurping his tea out of a saucer.

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

If you enjoyed this Craic, please click “like” and tweet a link.

 

 


London Calling

15Aug17

Slim Jim

In the latest episode of my show for America, Slim Jim Phantom from The Stray Cats talks about how he got started playing the drums, the beginning of The Stray Cats and moving to London from Long Island as a teenager.

In “What’s Happening in Britain This Week”; A look at how the UK is just like North Korea; Electric cars are coming; What Brexit will cost; Guilty pleasures; Millions being lost in Britain because of a ‘fortune telling scam’; Dunkirk; The war on sugar; What has happened to England’s weather?

Listen to London Calling, Episode 43 here;
http://www.talkers.com/talkersradio/london-calling/london-calling-with-graham-mack-episode-43-slim-jim-phantom/

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

If you enjoyed this Craic, please click “like” and tweet a link.


Fortune

British taxpayers have lost millions because of a gigantic fortune telling scam. And we’re set to lose even more money because, despite overwhelming evidence, people still refuse to accept that they’re being ripped off.

A group of con artists are running a racket that costs the British taxpayer £170 million a year. It employs 1,500 staff and has conned the British government into spending £100 million on a gigantic supercomputer that doesn’t work.

The name of this shonky organisation is, the Met Office. They claim to be able to predict the future, specifically the weather.

It rained yesterday and the temperature struggled to get to 16 degrees celsius 61F. It’s even colder and wetter today. So far, we haven’t had anything like a summer. We had a cold and wet July followed by a cold and wet August!

Here’s what the Met office predicted. These are some quotes from the Daily Express on the 29th June this year…

“HEATWAVE ON THE WAY: Sunshine until SEPTEMBER as roasting temperatures to roar back to UK!”

“Blistering sunshine and roasting temperatures forecast until September”.

“This summer could rival the scorcher of 2003!”

Read more here;
http://www.express.co.uk/news/weather/821943/UK-temperatures-soar-with-sunshine-until-September

Please be aware of this scam and don’t be fooled by anything you hear or read about our weather.

The only thing you can predict about Britain’s weather is that it’s unpredictable.

Craic on!

Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;

http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video

If you enjoyed this Craic, please click “like” and tweet a link.




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