Archive for July, 2014

If Julie didn’t like the experience of watching Liverpool at Anfield, I was in a lot of trouble. Up until February 1997, we’d lived in New Zealand and Australia. Now, we’d moved to Britain because I’d got a job as the Breakfast Show host at 2CRFM in Bournemouth. In the ten years we’d been married, […]

The traffic light turned red, the brakes whistled, everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at me. I wished I was invisible. Driving home from a failed shopping expedition to Milton Keynes on Saturday, Julie decided she was going to buy the huge eight foot by three foot mirror she’d seen in Vinegar Hill […]

What if Julie doesn’t like going to the football? What if she’s freaked out by being in a stadium surrounded by more people than the population of her home town in New Zealand? What if she just doesn’t understand what being a Liverpool supporter is all about? These were the thoughts running through my mind […]

Our lives have been turned upside down over the last couple of weeks because the building our flat is in, is being painted. I don’t have much faith in the three blokes doing the work. They’re really good at drinking tea, gossiping about one of the residents in the flats who they describe as “Lady […]

I’m not sure Julie was fully prepared for the experience of going to her first English Premier League football match. Julie and I grew up on opposite sides of the world. We met in her home town of Whangarei, New Zealand which at the time had a population of around 40,000. Julie came from a […]

I’ve never got on with Windows computers. If it isn’t the “blue screen of death”, it’s the frozen screen and the “control/alt/delete” (which only fixes it half the time anyway). If I’m not turning it off and back on again, I’m being threatened that “your computer may be a risk”. I don’t even have to […]

Of all the people who have followed what I’ve done on the radio over the years, none of them has ever taken it as far as Nigel. When you’re on the radio every day, you get a fair few people who become fans of what you do. Some of them go to great lengths to […]

I couldn’t believe it when I head the newsreader say, “The number of people out of work in the UK has fallen to two”. Then she started another sentence,”Point three million. I hear this all the time when broadcasters give out big numbers. Last week it was reported that, “the number of people having gastric […]

It’s weird how events tend to connect up in unexpected ways. There was a nice unintended consequence of having our tiny little Daihatsu Centro shipped from Australia when Julie and I moved to the UK. When we lived in Gosford on the New South Wales Central Coast, the bloke who cut my hair was from […]

Do you know how to use a thermostat or are you one? It’s been very warm here in the south east of England lately. That means air-conditioning has been switched on more often. Unfortunately some people don’t seem to know how to work it so as a former air-conditioning engineer let me explain. Room temperature […]

They say some of the most stressful things you can go through are, changing jobs, moving house, and a death in the family. We went through all of those and a bit more besides in 1997. In February I got a job as the Breakfast Presenter on 2CRFM in Bournemouth England, so Julie and I […]

I want cyclists to be safe. Unfortunately, some cyclists don’t agree with me. Look at the picture above. It shows the spot where a cyclist on this road, which has a speed limit of 60mph, was riding at least two yards from the curb. This is the direction I was heading. When I drove around […]

Sometimes sleep deprivation makes me act like a crazy person. In 1997, I was the Breakfast Presenter at 2CRFM in Bournemouth. Julie and I rented a one bedroom, ground-floor flat in Boscombe. One night the people in the flat upstairs had a party that went on past midnight. Lying there trying to get to sleep […]

I got a shake of the head this morning. I saw it in my rear view mirror, it was a cyclist. I always give cyclists a wide berth because they’re the most vulnerable vehicles on the road and anyone who rides a bike on a main road is a bit mad anyway. There’s an uphill […]

In previous Craics I’ve gone on about idiots I’ve worked for. I’m sure I’ll mention many more in the future. In this Craic, I need to say thank you to two great bosses. Living on the other side of the world is especially difficult when there’s a death in the family back home. In June […]

Broken English


A bloke told me that he’s “lucked out” today and then went on to telly me how lucky he was. When you said you “lucked out” it USED to mean you were unlucky, as in, “ran out of luck”. Now it means the opposite. It turns out that the Americans have always used the phrase […]

The show must go on! Sometimes, you’ve no other choice. In 1997, Julie and I were almost broke. We’d spent most of our savings moving to Britain so I could present the Breakfast Show at 2CRFM in Bournemouth. The exchange rate wasn’t in our favour. One British pound was worth almost three Australian dollars. What […]



I don’t understand wildlife. This morning driving to work, I had to stop because a deer was stood in the middle of the main road. It was before 5am, so I was the only car for miles. I thought, he’ll move away as I get closer but no, he just stood there. I ended up coming […]

Radio is an intimate medium. It works best when the listener regards you as a friend. To be a successful broadcaster, you need to get big ratings. To do this you need people to want to spend time with you. The people we chose to spend the most time with are people we know and […]

Bird Brain


Why are pigeons so slow first thing in the morning? Later in the day, they’re fine but every morning on my way to work, I have to brake for them. They stand in the middle of the road as I approach and look as if they’re waiting for me to kill them. As I hit […]