Archive for April, 2015

Lies, damn lies and radio ratings. Apart from revenue figures, the most important numbers in radio are the ratings. In the past I’ve been bonused on good ratings and I know people who’ve been fired because of poor ratings. Only the radio stations take ratings seriously. Everyone else, including the company that collects the numbers, […]


Time Travel

21Apr15

“I’m going to wait till the traffic has gone before I set off”. People say that to me all of the time and it makes no sense. If you set off later, there’s NO WAY you can get there any quicker! All of the people who set off before you are still in front of […]


The odds of this happening must be astronomical but it happened in 2005 while I was at 2CRFM on England’s South Coast. If you dialed the wrong number to a landline phone, what are the chances of the person you want to talk to actually being at the location you dialed by mistake, at that […]


How would you like it if while you were having a relaxing moment, someone started using an angle grinder, just a few yards away from you? How about a pneumatic drill or a chainsaw? That’s what happens in public toilets. It’s since hot air hand driers became supercharged. Some of them are louder than any […]


I’ve only seen real diva behavior once. In 2005, my co-host and I at 2CRFM on England’s South Coast hosted a concert at AFC Bournemouth’s stadium. One of the acts was an internationally famous female singer. We’re talking BIG name here, she sang the theme to one of the James Bond films. Anyway, her rider […]


Who decided you can give animals tablets? Today we tried and failed to worm our two cats. Even with Julie holding a squirming cat and me in charge of prizing open its jaws, we didn’t manage it. I pushed that tablet as far down each cat’s throat as I could but it simply can’t be […]


Messing with the competition is always fun when you work in commercial radio, especially if you can distort reality. In 2005, I was the Program Director at 2CRFM on England’s South Coast. Our main competitor was a station called Wave 105. One day we got word that Wave were planning a big poster campaign with […]


The original manuscript for Don McLean’s American Pie fetched $1.2 million at auction this week. Unfortunately, some radio stations treat the song as if it has no value at all. I’m talking about the radio stations that play the edited version. Actually “Edited” doesn’t begin to describe it, the radio “edit” I’m talking about has […]


Sometimes I feel like I’m flypaper for freaks. I got taken in by a con artist when I worked at 2CR FM on the South Coast in 2005. He wasn’t exactly a criminal mastermind, in fact I can’t work out how he thought he’d get away with it. I used to play in rock ‘n’ […]


I thought I’d solved my parking problem. There aren’t many cars in the car park at our block of flats during the day. It doesn’t fill up till after six in the evening when most people get home from work. Anyone working at the flats in the daytime; cleaners, tradesmen, gardeners etc. have a choice […]