Ticket To Snide

24Dec18

Delayed

My train was cancelled this morning due to “a lack of available trains”. What does that mean? The trains aren’t “available”, did they have other plans today?

I wonder if we’re given the real reason for delays and cancellations or if Thameslink have a random excuse generator. Since I’ve been commuting to London Blackfriars from Hitchin, trains have been delayed because of;
“Speed restriction over defective track earlier today”,
“A fault on this train”,
“More trains than usual needing maintenance”,
“A late incoming service” and
“A balloon caught in overhead wires”.

My favourite is when a train is delayed or cancelled, “Due to awaiting train crew”. I actually believe this one because obviously the train crew made the mistake of trying to get to work on a Thameslink train.

Craic on!

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Mack Nuggets

16Dec18

Here’s what I’ve been up to on Fix Radio in London, including:

International intrigue
Farts in the jungle
A scammer gets scammed
Lost love
Badger and the drone
A neighbourhood dispute
Your life as a movie
Sex in a churchyard
Darren hates criminal talk
Sex on a beach
Mistaken identity
Neighbour from hell
Attacked by an animal
The Psycho girlfriend
Finding a dead body
How to steal a Picasso

Craic on!

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Thameslink

If I didn’t bunk into 1st class every day, I would have to stand.

I travel on the 7:11 Thameslink from Hitchin to London Blackfriars every weekday. It doesn’t bother me that I don’t have a first class ticket. My monthly season ticket is £409.40 and that’s supposed to include a seat so the only way I can get one is to sit in first class.

Looking through the glass door into standard class yesterday morning I had an idea. Why not remove all of the seats in there? They’d get more people in and could charge less for the tickets.

If you needed to sit down, you could bring your own folding chair. There’s always folding bikes on the train so what’s the difference? They could even rent out folding chairs like they do with deck chairs on the beach.

And they could change the name of Standard class to “standing” class. They should do that now anyway because, for most people, that’s what it is already.

Craic on!

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Mack Nuggets

02Dec18

Here’s what I’ve been up to on Fix Radio in London lately, including:

A Farting story

Going back

Words that Darren hates

A Rip Off stories

Fireworks embarrassment

How tomato sauce became portable

The story of a stolen heart

How to steal a Picasso

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Thameslink

What will happen on the day I get caught for fare dodging?

Like all bad habits, this one started gradually. I catch the 7:11 Thameslink train from Hitchin to London Blackfriars every week day. During the 42 minute journey, I do a lot of work on my MacBook. Emails are sent & replied to and I even get a bit of audio editing done. I can only do that if I get a seat. Lately that’s become much more difficult as the train gets busier every day. One morning, I knew I had a lot to get done, there were no seats in standard class, so I just slipped into an empty seat in first class. That’s against the rules because my ticket is only for standard class. I justified it by reasoning to myself that if I’ve paid for a seat I should get one and if Thameslink can’t provide one in standard class, I have a right to one somewhere else on the train.

For a little while, I found myself doing that any time I couldn’t find a seat but now, instead of getting on at the back and walking the length of the train looking for a seat, I just get on at the front and go straight into first class.

One morning I got a fright when I noticed the bloke sitting opposite me was wearing a Thameslink photo ID badge. I thought, of all of the people in this first class carriage, I’ve sat opposite the ticket inspector!

It turned out that he wasn’t an inspector but he did work for Thameslink. In fact, I’ve since worked out that most of the first class passengers at that time of the morning are Thameslink management. They all know each other and get off together at Finsbury Park.

I’ve become quite friendly with them too. At first it was a quiet nod, then a “morning”, small talk about the weather and now we’ll chat about last night’s TV and what’s in the news. I’m even on first name terms with Mike, Jason, Chris and Melissa.

The fine for using a standard class ticket in first class is £50. A first class ticket at peak times is an extra £10 per journey, so unless I get caught more than once a week, it’s cheaper to just pay the fines instead.

The day a ticket inspector eventually catches me will be interesting. When I get fined £50 for that journey, will my new Thameslink friends tell him that I owe another £50 for each of the other days I’ve dodged the first class fare? It’s not like I can claim to have had a first class ticket on the other days because my standard class season ticket is a monthly.

It is strange that for months now, I’ve been catching the same train every weekday and a ticket inspector has NEVER got on. Do my Thameslink traveling companions know something that I don’t? Maybe they don’t have first class tickets either!

Craic on!

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Piccasso

I’m going to give up radio and become an international art thief.

Right now, I’m the Programme Director at Fix Radio in London. The radio station is in Bankside, not far from the Tate Modern. Every lunchtime this week, I’ve been going over there and looking at the art. I’ve started thinking about how hard it would be to steal one of the paintings.

I’ve looked around the back of a lot of them and can’t see wiring or anything that looks like an alarm. It’s also clear that they’re just hanging on the walls without anything securing them. There isn’t always a security person in every gallery, so if I time it right, it wouldn’t be that difficult to just lift a painting off the wall and have it away.

The major problem is getting it out of the building. None of the art is on the ground floor (level 1), the Tate Modern is a former power station, so it’s huge and the combined entrances/exits are a long way from the galleries. There are two security guards posted at each entrance/exit and they seem more interested in me when I’m on my way out than when I’m on my way in.

The rules say you’re not allowed to take in any bag that is, “larger than cabin bag size (55cm x 40cm x 20cm), sports or recreational equipment (musical instruments), large wheelie bags or boxes”, so keeping the painting hidden as I walk out past the guards is the real challenge.

As it’s going to take some time to get it out, it’s important to make sure no one realises it’s missing until I’m long gone, so I’ve chosen a relatively famous painting, one that I can buy a print of, the same size as the original. If no one notices me making the switch, it could take days before anyone realises the original has disappeared. The good news is, I can buy a high quality reproduction from the gift shop in the Turbine Hall on level 0.

The painting I’ve chosen is Picasso’s ‘Weeping Woman’, which is on level 2. I took a picture of it which you can see above. I also took my tape measure in yesterday and got all of the dimensions. The print I’ll need is 608mm x 500mm. Once I’ve bought the replica, I’ll take it to a framers with my photograph and get them to put it in an identical frame 847mm x 739mm x 86mm.

Now I need two accomplices, one to cause a diversion and the other to play the part of a person with a disability. I’ll get a wheelchair adapted so that there’s a compartment behind the seat, just the right size to slot the replica or the original painting in from the top. It’ll just look like a padded seat back to a security guard.

I’ll place the wheelchair, with Accomplice One on board, in front of the ‘Weeping Woman’, put the brake on and wait for Accomplice Two to “accidentally” knock over the awkward metal sculpture in the gallery next door. The people in the small gallery where the Picasso is hanging, and any security guards, will walk through to the other room to see what all the commotion is about. That’s when accomplice number one will get out of the wheelchair and take the ‘Weeping Woman’ off the wall. At the same time, I’ll pull the replica out from behind the seat and will have it hanging on the wall before Accomplice One slots the original into the back of the wheelchair.

Then I’ll just wheel accomplice number one and the painting to the lift, get out at level 1 and wheel both of them past the security guards at the nearest exit.

The really good news is I’m unlikely to get caught. According to Noah Charney, a scholar and author who’s published multiple books on art theft, “We’re very bad at catching art thieves, we have a very low recovery and prosecution rate: Something like 1.5 percent of cases of art theft see the art recovered and the criminal prosecuted.”

The only flaw in my plan to switch careers is, according to Charney in an article published at Insurancejournal.com, fine art theft is relatively easy but selling stolen art is almost impossible. He said, “People assume that they’ll find criminal art collectors when in fact, we have very few historical examples—maybe a dozen to 20 who fit the bill.” Hundreds of art objects are stolen every year, so those are bad odds.

For my new career to take off, I need to find a buyer in advance, so, wanna buy a Picasso?

Craic on!

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Mack Nuggets

12Nov18

Here’s what I’ve been up to on Fix Radio lately, including;

Fancy Dress, The Movie of Your Life, Mistaken Identity, Neighbours, Animal Attack, Blags and Scams.

Craic on!

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bt

No one likes to be lied to, so it’s especially annoying when someone writes to you and there’s a lie in the first line.

I opened a letter today from Nick Lane, the Managing Director of Customer Care at BT. It said, “Hello Graham, You’re eligible for an ultrafast upgrade. It’s an exclusive deal we’ve made just for you”.

Just for me, really? Out of the 9.28 million UK retail broadband subscribers, Nick Lane has decided that only Graham Mack is eligible for this deal?

The letter goes on, “Get the UK’s first and only broadband with a 100Mb speed guarantee, even at peak times, for a monthly price of only £44.99”. We’re so confident in our connection that we’re putting our money where our mouth is. – if your speeds drop below 100mbps we’ll give you £20 back”.

I’m not sure you understand how basic business transactions work Nick. If I pay you £44.99 for something and you don’t give it to me, I would expect to get £44.99 back, not £20.

To answer the question you asked at the end of your letter, no, I’m not ready for life in the Ultrafast lane, especially when it’s sold to me in this way by the Ultra-dodgy Nick Lane.

If you’re going to send me any more letters like this, you should change the name of your company from B.T. to B.S..

Craic on!

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IMG_6142

I won’t be playing Britain’s favourite Christmas song on the radio.

“Fairytale of New York” by The Pogues is consistently voted Britain’s most popular Christmas song but thanks to a ruling by the broadcast regulator, Ofcom, I won’t be playing it on London’s Fix Radio, the radio station for builders and tradespeople.

In August this year, Ofcom upheld a complaint from a listener to my Breakfast Show on BOBfm from back in July. On the air, the operator of a speed camera was described as a ‘scumbag’ by a caller and as a ‘maggot’ by me.

BOBfm was found to be in breach of ‘Rule 2.3 of the broadcasting code which states, “Broadcasters must ensure that material which may cause offence is justified by the context…Such material may include offensive language…[or] discriminatory treatment or language”.

By the time Ofcom upheld the listener complaint, I had left BOBfm and I’m now the Program Director at Fix Radio in London.

Ofcom have made it very clear that the words ‘scumbag’ and ‘maggot’ are offensive and not suitable for broadcast. As Programme Director, my first job is to protect the radio station’s licence. ‘Scumbag’ and ‘maggot’ are lyrics that can be clearly heard in ‘Fairytale of New York’. I don’t want to put Fix Radio’s licence in jeopardy so have been forced to remove the most popular song at Christmas time from our playlist. I would warn all other radio stations in Britain not to play ‘Fairytale of New York’ because Ofcom, as the UK’s communications regulator, has set a clear precedent about language that cannot be broadcast. As the exact same words are used in the song, Ofcom will be forced to take action, otherwise they will be seen as inconsistent or biased.”

Read about the original Ofcom ruling here

This morning I heard the DAB radio station, ‘Heart Extra Christmas’ play ‘Fairytale of New York’. Here are some of the lyrics that were broadcast at a time when children could have been listening,

“You’re a bum
You’re a punk
You’re an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God it’s our last”

The irony is that they played the song straight after a station ID that said, “Turn up the festive feel-good”. 

Someone should complain.

Craic on!

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Word Up

04Nov18

Words

“I woke up in a Soho doorway, a policeman knew my name”

That’s the opening line of the first verse of The Who song, ‘Who Are You’. It’s a great example of what radio consultants like to call “Word Economy”, the art of saying as much as you can with as few words as possible. It’s a story told in only twelve words.

Most radio presenters would use a lot more words to tell that story. It would go something like this, “I hope your weekend was better than mine. We all like a drink but just lately I think I’ve been overdoing it. I went out in Soho again on Saturday night and by the end of the evening I was a mess. I remember falling asleep in a doorway. I heard this voice calling my name and when I opened my eyes it was a policeman. It was the same policeman that I’ve had a run in with after other big nights out”.  – That’s 83 words to tell the exact same story. Some presenters could tell the story in fewer words but not many can match Pete Townshend’s twelve.

Loads of song lyrics paint a picture and tell a story.

The Beatles, ‘Eleanor Rigby’ – “Eleanor Rigby, picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been”.
Paul McCartney doesn’t use the word ‘lonely’ till the chorus but it’s right there in the opening line without being said.

The Rolling Stones, ‘Honky Tonk Woman’ – “I met a gin soaked, bar-room queen in Memphis”.
You instantly get a mental picture of that honky tonk woman and the bar.

The Kinks – ‘Come Dancing’ – “He’d end up blowing all his wages for the week all for a cuddle and a peck on the cheek”.
Ray Davies tells you all you need to know about this bloke’s desperate love life.

What about this from Ed Sheeran? The song is ‘Galway Girl’, instead of describing the kind of bar they were in and listing which brands of Irish whiskey, bourbon, stout, and scotch got her drunk and made her dance to Van Morrison, he just says,
She took Jamie as a chaser, Jack for the fun 
She got Arthur on the table with Johnny riding as a shotgun
Chatted some more, one more drink at the bar
Then put Van on the jukebox, got up to dance”

If you’re a radio presenter who plays music and you want to learn all about word economy, listen to the lyrics in the songs you’re playing.

If you still don’t believe you can tell a full and moving story without many words, how about this six word advertisement that was placed in the local newspaper, The Spokane Press, in 1910;

“For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”

Craic on!

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Paris is the city of love, so where better for Julie and I to go and celebrate our 31st wedding anniversary? If you’re planning to visit the most romantic city on earth, I hope this blog will give you some ideas and inspiration for your trip.

After work on Friday night we got on the Eurostar at London St Pancras and two hours and fifteen minutes later we were at the Gare du Nord. We booked a hotel within walking distance of the railway station, so as soon as we got to Paris we could check in without needing transfers.

After breakfast the next morning we headed back to Gare du Nord and got on the Metro. Once you work out the colour coded maps, numbers of the lines and where to change trains, the Metro is really easy to use, and cheap. It costs €1.90 per trip and it’s cheaper if you buy multiple tickets. You can buy ten tickets for €14.90 and they’re on sale from vending machines in every station.image1

We made our way around the city on the Metro and did a lot of walking as well. Most parks in Paris don’t have paved footpaths, they’re more of a fine sandy gravel. If the weather is dry, you’ll notice it on your shoes. Here’s how my black suede boots looked half way through our first day…Shoes

There’s a lot to do in Paris, so you may want to have a plan. We found this to-do list which fluttered down from the Eiffel Tower. List

It’s a very photogenic city, almost every picture you take comes out like a postcard. Here’s an eyeful of the tower I took from Place du Trocadero.Eyefull

If you’re English, don’t make the mistake of ordering a cup of tea. The French can’t make tea. Here’s what we ended up with…Tea Picture

On our first day in town we went to Notre-Dame Cathedral. It’s free to get in but check what’s on that day. We couldn’t go inside because there was a big service going on. They take Catholicism very seriously in France, which is why they’d even booked a “Pope And The Cardinals” tribute act…Pope

Instead, we took a nice walk to the Musée de l’Orangerie and stood in front of “Water Lilies” by Claude Monet…Lillies

When you pay to go to the loo in Paris you don’t, “spend a penny” because they use Euros. What you’re actually doing is “Euro-nating”. These toilets in Paris are so popular they even have a gift shop!Toilet

We started our second day in Paris at the Musee National Picasso. It was free to go in because it was the first Sunday of the month. Inside it’s not just paintings by Picasso, there’s also work by the artists that influenced him like Matisse and Renoir. I couldn’t resist taking a selfie with Rembrandt’s selfie from 1660…Rembrant

The highlight of the trip was at Sainte Chapelle. We’d gone there to see the amazing stained glass windows.

Glass

A bloke in front of us got down on one knee and proposed to his girl. Well, they don’t call it the city of love for nothing!

I hope they’re as happy as we are in 31 years time.

Craic on!

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Hippy Dippy

23Sep18

Meditation

I don’t get yoga, more to the point, I don’t get people who “go to yoga”.

Hey, I like meditation, it’s better than sitting around and doing nothing. – That’s an old joke and I love the truth in it. One of the BEST things about meditation is that it IS sitting around doing nothing. It’s the main reason I like it and why I’m really good at it.

I also like meditation because I don’t need to buy any special equipment, dress a certain way, interact with anyone, show up at a specific place at a specific time, be told what to do by anyone and best of all, I don’t have to do anything physical.

It’s for these reasons that I am repulsed by yoga. Yoga has taken my favourite thing and turned it into everything I hate. To practice yoga you have to buy a special mat, wear ridiculous clothes, join a group, interact with people, bend, stretch and hurt yourself.

On top of that, they even call it a “class”. That brings back traumatic memories of an experience I had in my childhood, SCHOOL!

I don’t want some oddball who regards themselves as superior to me telling me I’m not doing something properly that I already know how to do. Yoga teachers actually tell you how to breath! And when it comes to meditation, which we’ve already established is, doing nothing, my ability in that area is unsurpassed. If doing nothing was a sport, I’d be the world champion.

It’s for these reasons that you will never find me learning how to improve my downward dog, while being told to breath into my right toe by a ponytailed, lentil-eating basket weaver.

Craic on!

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Phone

It’s amazing how some slogans perfectly fit the product or service they’re attached to.

I’m on a sim only deal with my phone and pay £20 a month for 20 gigabytes of data. I only use 6 gigabytes. My current contract is coming to an end so I called and asked for a deal with a lower limit.

The only deals they have, range from 5GB (too small) to 18 GB (too large) and even if I switched to 18GB I would only save £1 a month.

I told the person on the phone that after 10 years with this company, I was going to shop around and see what other providers could offer. I was amazed when he said, “OK” and did NOTHING to try to make me stay.

This mobile phone provider has a new slogan. It is, “The future is exciting. Ready?”

I am excited because I know I’ll find a better deal somewhere else and yes, I AM ready!

Craic on!

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The King And I

25Aug18

Hand

When you get to a certain level of wealth and power you must think you can control everything and everyone around you.

I was driving along the King’s Road, Chelsea the other day. A bloke holding a shopping bag was stood on the painted broken line in the middle of the road. As I got closer to him, he took half a step forward into my lane and held his hand up with his palm facing me as if he was a policeman ordering me to stop. He wanted to finish crossing the road.

There was no one behind me, all he had to do was wait till I went by. I gave him a wide berth but there was no way I was going to stop for him.

After I went past him, I noticed in my rear-view mirror that he did cross the road and walked to a parked Rolls Royce on the other side. A chauffeur wearing a cap had got out and was holding the back door open for him.

It was at that moment that I didn’t feel so bad about driving past him a moment earlier, especially as I’d given him a hand signal of my own.

Craic on!

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Nothing Is Real

19Aug18

Everything is not as it seems.

You get to do some interesting stuff when you’re the Program Director of Fix Radio, the Commercial Radio Station in London for builders. Saturday morning, I was invited to the filming of a commercial for one of our advertisers Hitachi, who make power tools, as they are changing their name to HiKOKE.

Five professional dancers where hired and dressed as builders. It was really interesting watching as they learned their moves for various choreographed routines.

The shoot took place on a building site in Battersea. Three apartment blocks are going up. Some people have already moved into one of the blocks, so right now they live on the building site.

I feel sorry for one bleary-eyed resident who had clearly just woken up. When they opened the curtains, they saw a team of men in hard hats and hi-viz jackets dancing in unison.

They must have thought, what are they putting in the builder’s tea?

Craic on!

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Radio newsreaders are rubbish when it comes to reporting about Space.

Yesterday I heard a news presenter on a commercial station say, “It’s back to the drawing board for Nasa”. Immediately I thought that something catastrophic had happened to the rocket that was due to carry the Parker Solar Probe into space. It turned out the launch was cancelled due to a glitch. It eventually lifted off on its mission to the sun less than 24 hours later, hardly “back to the drawing board”. It’s no different than any vehicle that doesn’t leave on time, it just leaves at a different time. When a train is cancelled, Thameslink don’t get a team of engineers in to redesign the train from scratch!

It’s not the first time I’ve heard a confusing news report on the radio about a launch. A few months ago I heard that a rocket had lifted off from “The Kennedy Centre”. I thought that’s odd, I didn’t know that they fired rockets into space from The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. Why would NASA move it’s launch site 866 miles to a theatre complex in Washington DC from their usual launch facility at Cape Canaveral in Florida, (The Kennedy Space Centre)?

Another time, I heard a BBC radio newsreader explain that Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic was going to “blast space tourists into orbit”. A quick check on Wikipedia and she would have found out that Virgin Galactic, “aims to provide SUBORBITAL flights to space tourists”.

I was once told by a senior news person at the BBC that the reason why science is reported so badly in the media is that most people who go into journalism are arts graduates.

I just hope that the news presenter I heard reporting on the launch of the probe to the sun realises that it will still make it, even though it was launched at night.

Craic on!

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Carmageddon

28Jul18

No Parking

My brain has a strange way of embellishing things to make me feel better.

Up until recently I’ve been spending most of my weekends on the road. After a week of doing Breakfast Shows on BOBfm in Hertfordshire, I’ve been getting up at 3am on Sundays, driving up the M1, M6 and M62 to present Sunday mornings at BBC Radio Merseyside in Liverpool, then at noon I’d drive south again and get home at about 6pm. It’s a round trip of almost 400 miles.

A couple of Sundays ago, I made it home after my epic journey but couldn’t park because someone was in my allocated parking space outside our block of flats.

Just as I was about to start pushing the intercom of every flat, a bloke came out of the front door. I said to him, “You wouldn’t happen to know whose car that is, would you?” He said, “Yes, it belongs to my mother, I’ll call her”. Then he left in his car.

About ten minutes later, nothing had happened and another bloke come out of the front door. I asked him if he knew anything about the car in my space and it turned out he was the brother of the first fella and said his mother would be down in half an hour. I said, “Half an hour? Tell her to move it right now, she’s in my space, which according to the deeds to the flat, I own!”

He went back inside, another ten minutes went by, so I parked my car right in front of the car that was in my space, so she wouldn’t be able to get out. I left a note under the windscreen wiper with my mobile number on it.

I went upstairs to our flat and started work on a shelf Julie and I were putting up. About twenty minutes later, my phone went. It was the bloke from downstairs asking me to move my car. I said, “I’ll be down in half an hour” and hung up.

He rang straight back. He said, “If you don’t move your car right now, I’m going to call the police”. I carried on fitting the shelf but Julie had had enough, grabbed her keys and went down to move the car.

When she got down there, the bloke WAS on the phone to the police. Julie moved the car and he ranted about me being passive aggressive (trust me, I may have been calm but there was nothing passive about my aggression).

Last night, I had a really weird dream about the whole thing. In the dream, a policeman actually showed up and made me move my car.

I was really annoyed that the cop was having a go at me and didn’t have the guts to arrest the lady for trespassing on my property. So I made him say out loud, what I wanted to say to him. I said, “Excuse me officer, how do I get a ticket to the next Policeman’s Ball?” and he said, “I’m sorry, the police don’t have any balls”.

Craic on!

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Radio Geek

Radio people who are interested in what other radio stations and other presenters have done call themselves, “geeks”, why is that?

Singers who study other artists don’t call themselves geeks. Guitarists who are inspired by other great players don’t call themselves geeks. Comedians who study the comedy of other great comics never refer to themselves as geeks, it’s only radio people.

True geeks are people that study an industry from the outside. A bloke who works in a library but knows every detail of the running of a railway is a geek, not the bloke who drives the train.

Someone who goes out of their way to learn more about the business they’re in and gets inspired by what other people have done isn’t a geek, they’re a professional and an asset to their employer.

What’s weird is that people outside of radio don’t call radio people geeks, radio people call THEMSELVES geeks. Some non-radio people actually think we’re cool!

Maybe people outside of radio, understand something that the self-identified geeks don’t, that this is show business and we are performers.

It’s been said that all performers are insecure. Maybe radio performers are the most insecure of all because they don’t even want to be seen.

Maybe they don’t want to be seen because they see themselves as geeks.

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Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;
http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video


London Calling

22Jul18

London Calling

In the latest episode of my show for America, Kim Wilde and Jeff Wayne talk about the space aliens that inspired their musical work. For Kim it was a close encounter and for Jeff it was H.G. Wells, The War Of The Worlds. They both chat about their amazing lives and careers on both sides of the Atlantic.

Listen to London Calling, Episode 68, here;
http://www.talkers.com/talkersradio/london-calling/london-calling-with-graham-mack-episode-68-kim-wilde-and-jeff-wayne/

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Stop And Rob

Our new flat is in a great location. The block is right next door to a convenience store. I call that kind of shop a “Stop and Rob”. I’ve mentioned it on the radio a couple of times.

I went in there today, picked up a few things, said hello to the bloke behind the counter and asked if they sell non-alcoholic beer. He said, “No, we don’t get much call for it, don’t you drink at all then?” We got into a conversation about how I gave up drinking years ago because I did breakfast radio and when you get up before 4am and have to be at your best as early as you can, drinking the night before doesn’t help.

That’s when he stopped, looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Wait, are you that geezer that’s been calling this place a Stop and Rob?” I sheepishly admitted that it was me and told him that if it bothered him, I wouldn’t call it that anymore.

I can’t face going back in there again so now I’ll have to find a new convenience store. Shame it won’t be as convenient.

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Listen to the latest Mack Nuggets at;
http://www.mackmedia.co.uk/8th-mack-nuggets-audio-video



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