Archive for December, 2018

Phoney Fart

31Dec18

  “Oh, I thought you farted!”. That’s what Julie said last night as we sat on the couch watching telly and I reached into my pocket and got out my mobile phone which had just vibrated to let me know I had a text. Next time I need to fart on the couch, I won’t […]


Cell Phones

28Dec18

Prison reform has gone too far. All inmates in England will have 24-hour access to a phone soon. 50 jails will have landlines fitted to every cell before March 2020 and eventually all 118 prisons in England will have phones in cells. It’s another barmy policy that’s been pushed through by do-gooders and snivel- libertarians. […]


Secret Sound

27Dec18

What the hell is this buzz? This mysterious noise in the hallway of our new apartment never goes away. It started about a month ago and is more noticeable at night. At first I thought it was a neighbour’s fridge or freezer but it doesn’t cycle on and off, it’s continuous. The other side of […]


Ticket To Snide

24Dec18

My train was cancelled this morning due to “a lack of available trains”. What does that mean? The trains aren’t “available”, did they have other plans today? I wonder if we’re given the real reason for delays and cancellations or if Thameslink have a random excuse generator. Since I’ve been commuting to London Blackfriars from […]


Mack Nuggets

16Dec18

Here’s what I’ve been up to on Fix Radio in London, including: International intrigue Farts in the jungle A scammer gets scammed Lost love Badger and the drone A neighbourhood dispute Your life as a movie Sex in a churchyard Darren hates criminal talk Sex on a beach Mistaken identity Neighbour from hell Attacked by […]


If I didn’t bunk into 1st class every day, I would have to stand. I travel on the 7:11 Thameslink from Hitchin to London Blackfriars every weekday. It doesn’t bother me that I don’t have a first class ticket. My monthly season ticket is £409.40 and that’s supposed to include a seat so the only […]


Mack Nuggets

02Dec18

Here’s what I’ve been up to on Fix Radio in London lately, including: A Farting story Going back Words that Darren hates A Rip Off stories Fireworks embarrassment How tomato sauce became portable The story of a stolen heart How to steal a Picasso Craic on! If you enjoyed this Craic, please click “like” and […]