Archive for the ‘Words’ Category

“Complaints Department” is what the sign above my boss’s office read in 1998. I was the Breakfast Presenter at 2CRFM on England’s South Coast. My boss was Tom Hardy, he totally understood how radio worked. He put the sign up because I used to get so many complaints and that was a good thing. Usually […]


Sometimes, situations make things even funnier. In 1998, I was the Breakfast Show host at 2CRFM in Dorset. One of our advertisers was Condor Ferries. They ran high speed catamarans called JetCats from Poole to the Channel Islands. We were asked to present one of our breakfast shows from Jersey to promote the ferry service.  […]


Although radio is the theatre of the mind, sometimes it’s important to keep it real. In 1998, I presented the Breakfast show on 2CRFM on England’s South Coast. Tom Hardy was the Program Director and I’m pretty sure it was his idea to give listeners a second chance with their losing lottery tickets. A cash […]


Radio is the theatre of the mind.  Richie Firth used to present travel reports on 2CRFM from the streets of Dorset and Hampshire dressed as a chicken. I can’t remember exactly how that all started but I know that when I presented the Breakfast Show there in 1998, “Richie The Travel Chicken” was very popular. […]


I wish we could just ban ‘journalese’. It’s the language newspapers are printed in.  It’s such a big problem that Robert Hutton, a political correspondent for Bloomberg News, wrote a book about it. It’s called, ‘Romps, Tots and Boffins – The Strange Language of News’. Of course if this was a newspaper article, I would […]


I stood accused of murder. It was 5am, two police officers were waiting for me when I arrived at the radio station. This all happened in 1998, I was presenting the Breakfast Show on 2CRFM on England’s South Coast. It all started innocently enough when the owners of the radio station booked the former Radio […]


I don’t miss newspapers. Maybe I’m not that bothered by their demise because one of them set me up and then turned on me in 1998. I was the presenter of the Breakfast Show at 2CR FM on England’s South Coast. Not long after I got there, the local rag got in touch and asked […]


RIP MIKE SMITH Last week, I heard the very sad news that former Radio 1 DJ Mike Smith had died aged 59. Mike Smith pointed the way to what became my radio journey even though I never met him or ever heard him present a radio show. When he was at the peak of his […]


I’ve never got on with Windows computers. If it isn’t the “blue screen of death”, it’s the frozen screen and the “control/alt/delete” (which only fixes it half the time anyway). If I’m not turning it off and back on again, I’m being threatened that “your computer may be a risk”. I don’t even have to […]


Of all the people who have followed what I’ve done on the radio over the years, none of them has ever taken it as far as Nigel. When you’re on the radio every day, you get a fair few people who become fans of what you do. Some of them go to great lengths to […]


I couldn’t believe it when I head the newsreader say, “The number of people out of work in the UK has fallen to two”. Then she started another sentence,”Point three million. I hear this all the time when broadcasters give out big numbers. Last week it was reported that, “the number of people having gastric […]


I want cyclists to be safe. Unfortunately, some cyclists don’t agree with me. Look at the picture above. It shows the spot where a cyclist on this road, which has a speed limit of 60mph, was riding at least two yards from the curb. This is the direction I was heading. When I drove around […]


Sometimes sleep deprivation makes me act like a crazy person. In 1997, I was the Breakfast Presenter at 2CRFM in Bournemouth. Julie and I rented a one bedroom, ground-floor flat in Boscombe. One night the people in the flat upstairs had a party that went on past midnight. Lying there trying to get to sleep […]


Broken English

09Jul14

A bloke told me that he’s “lucked out” today and then went on to telly me how lucky he was. When you said you “lucked out” it USED to mean you were unlucky, as in, “ran out of luck”. Now it means the opposite. It turns out that the Americans have always used the phrase […]


The show must go on! Sometimes, you’ve no other choice. In 1997, Julie and I were almost broke. We’d spent most of our savings moving to Britain so I could present the Breakfast Show at 2CRFM in Bournemouth. The exchange rate wasn’t in our favour. One British pound was worth almost three Australian dollars. What […]


Deerstalker

07Jul14

I don’t understand wildlife. This morning driving to work, I had to stop because a deer was stood in the middle of the main road. It was before 5am, so I was the only car for miles. I thought, he’ll move away as I get closer but no, he just stood there. I ended up coming […]


Radio is an intimate medium. It works best when the listener regards you as a friend. To be a successful broadcaster, you need to get big ratings. To do this you need people to want to spend time with you. The people we chose to spend the most time with are people we know and […]


Howard Stern once said, “Most of the things I do are misunderstood. Hey, after all, being misunderstood is the fate of all true geniuses, is it not?” A recurring theme in my life is being misunderstood. Unlike Howard who was obviously talking about being misunderstood artistically, I am continually misunderstood by people in positions of […]


These new e-passports are a con. I found out first hand this week. There’s a lot of fuss right now about e-passports which have a chip in them so they’re supposed to be more secure. I read on http://www.zdnet.com that they’re easy to clone and fake. They even published this picture of Elvis Presley’s e-passport […]


Sean Hannity from Fox News crept up behind Michael Harrison, the publisher of “Talkers” and grabbed him by the throat while I was interviewing him for the latest Radio Academy podcast. It was all in good fun and set the tone for what was billed as “The 17th installment of the talk media industry’s longest […]