Have I Got Spews For You!



It’s a shame that we don’t always recognise an omen until after the event.

The severe weather we’ve been having in Britain lately has reminded me of the time I survived a crossing of the English Channel in bad weather.

About 20 years ago, I was the presenter of the Breakfast Show on 2CR FM, a radio station in Bournemouth. We did a promotion with Condor Ferries. They flew us over to Jersey from Southampton. We did the Show from a hotel the next morning and came back on the Condor Ferry which was a jet-cat.

This jet-cat was big. Cars and trucks were loaded on with a few hundred people. It was fast as well, which I think is what made it even more uncomfortable. Nearly everyone was seasick, it was horrific and terrifying!

At one point, I remember looking at this frightened little girl a few seats away from us, she was about 8 years old. I turned away to look at something else for a second and when I turned back it looked like she’d exploded! She was covered in sick.

I think she’d thrown up while we were on the top of a wave, then the boat had dropped so the spew was suspended in mid air for a second then gravity kicked in, the puke obeyed Newton’s first law of motion and it all landed on top of her.

I should have known it wasn’t going to be a pleasant journey because I saw an Omen the day before. Condor Ferries had done a marketing campaign with a slogan about the jet-cat called, “I Love My Cat”, only the word “love” was a picture of a heart, like the old, “I (heart) New York” thing.

In St Helier, a car had gone past us with a Condor Ferries bumper sticker on and the slogan, “I (heart) my cat” but someone had coloured in the heart with black marker pen so the heart looked like a spade. In effect it said, “I SPADE my cat”.

I didn’t understand the significance at the time but now it’s obvious.  Although, it wasn’t planned, twenty-four hours later, a lot of us onboard the ‘Vomit Comet’, were having kittens!

Craic on!

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