One Track Mind



Britain’s new railway should be re-named. The transport minister, Andrew Jones agrees with me but he wants to use the wrong name.

The new line will connect London with the North of England. A lot of people are against it, especially in the communities that will be affected along the route where homes will be knocked down to make way for it. It’s estimated it’ll cost the tax payer £56 billion to build and the work is expected to take more than 20 years. So far, no actual work has started.

It’s called HS2, which stands for “High Speed 2”. The transport minister says it should be renamed the Grand Union Railway because the controversial project is not actually about speed and is more about boosting capacity and will bring communities together.

If they want to rename HS2, they should just juggle the letters around and call it H2S because H2S is the chemical formula for the gas, hydrogen sulfide.

H2S would be the perfect name because just like this new railway line, H2S is poisonous, corrosive, has a foul odour and is invisible.

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