Blame Storming


Reading the Daily Mail is great because it reminds you that nothing is your fault.

If you’re fat, it’s because supermarkets are promoting obesity by allowing ‘special offers’ on fizzy drinks. If your kids are fat, it’s not because YOU feed them too much, it’s because there are too many fast food places near schools. If someone calls you fat, it’s not because you ARE fat, it’s because THEY are a bully and guilty of “fat shaming”. If they do it online, they’re an “internet troll” and besides, you’re not fat, you have, “body image issues”.

If you’re broke, it’s because top executives get paid too much, if you can’t get a job, even though Britain has the lowest unemployment figures in eleven years, it’s because of immigrants, and every other problem in your life is because we haven’t left the E.U. yet.

The really great news is that because nothing is actually YOUR fault, the taxpayer will bail you out. If your belly is too big or your self esteem is too low because your boobs are too small, we’ll pay for your gastric band surgery and boob job on the NHS. If you can’t stop smoking, we’ll pay for your nicotine patches and electronic cigarettes as well.

Not having to take responsibility for anything should make you feel good. What I can’t understand is why Daily Mail readers always seem so miserable!

Craic on!

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