Phoney Predictions

09Dec15

It’s not easy to predict the the future.

The Met Office have all kinds of scientific equipment including satellites to help predict the future and they’re rubbish at it. They predicted a hot dry summer for England. We actually got one of the coldest wettest. In the autumn, they predicted 38 days of Arctic winter. After one chilly morning so far, the north of England is now coping with devastating floods that the Met Office didn’t see coming at all!

Often people try to predict the future by doing surveys and writing reports. This week it was predicted that smartphones will die out in the next five years. That’s according to a report by Swedish telecoms company, Ericsson. They based this on research from 100,000 people in Sweden and 39 other countries. They found that many people believe smartphones are ‘over’. Instead, they think we’ll speak to ‘artificially intelligent’ helpers without needing a screen. Tech gurus have joined in and predict, ‘wearable gadgets’ will replace smartphones.

How did they work that out? Let’s start with ‘artificially intelligent’ helpers. Siri on my iPhone is useless! She’s supposed to be a ‘virtual assistant’, she simply doesn’t work. I just asked Siri, “When will smartphones die?”, she said, “Hmm, I believe Amy Smart is still alive”.

OK what about ‘wearable tech’? For the last ten years we’ve been told that ‘wearable tech’ is the next big thing. Maybe things got confused because we used to say that when you dressed to impress you looked ‘smart’. Now ‘smart’ means clever, so now clever clothes make you ‘smart’ even if you look a bugger in them?

Wearable tech has been a complete flop. If you want some peace and quiet in a busy Apple Store, go and stand by the Apple Watch display. There may be hundreds of people in there checking out iPhones, iPads and iMacs, you won’t find anyone anywhere near the table with the Apple Watches on it. I’ve only met one person who owns an Apple Watch and don’t know anyone who wants one. The reason why I don’t wear any watch now is because I have the time on my iPhone!

‘Virtual assistants’ and ‘wearable tech’, something that doesn’t work combined with something we don’t want, that’s the future? Who’s predicted that, the Met Office?

Craic on!

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