The Ins and Outs.


On sunny days like today, why do people keep telling me that the weather is “glorious”? I don’t get it, I’d rather stay in. Don’t get me wrong, I like it when it’s warm and bright but I prefer it when it’s warm and bright INSIDE. How come when a room is warm and well lit, no one EVER describes it as glorious?

Indoors is a way better place to be than outdoors. Some of the best things in life happen indoors. In fact there are a few indoor activities that would get you arrested if you did them outdoors!

Indoor “glorious” is even better than the outdoor version because you can control the temperature and you’re not exposed to as many insects and cancer causing radiation from the sun. It’s also consistent, it doesn’t matter if it gets cloudy, rains or goes dark, indoors doesn’t change that much.

Outdoors gets better press than indoors. It’s described as “the great” outdoors. Just BEING indoors is frowned upon. If you don’t go outside, you’re called a hermit. Not going out is described as being “trapped” indoors. No one is ever described as being “trapped” outdoors, even though being locked out is no fun at all. “You need to get out more!” is used to tell someone that they are spending too much time doing things that are boring or not important. That makes no sense, some of the most exciting breakthroughs in science, the arts and literature, all took place indoors.

Jails keep prisoners locked up indoors as a penalty for breaking the law but really, making them do their time outdoors all year round would be considered cruel and unusual punishment!

Some people are so obsessed with the outdoors, they open windows and bring pots of dirt inside and grow “houseplants”. If the outdoors is such a great place, why don’t they live there? The only people who actually live outdoors are the homeless!

So when someone describes conditions as “Glorious”, it just means that for a few hours at least, the experience of being outside is almost as good as it is inside.

Craic on!

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