I was left with no choice but to do something very bad for the environment on Sunday.

Shopping on a Sunday afternoon is never a good idea. Even the so-called 24 hour supermarkets close at 4pm because of laws that were brought in to appease Sabbatarian Christians. If you’ve ever had to go supermarket shopping during the frenzy of panic buying that occurs every Sunday between 3pm and 4pm, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Anyway, we needed to pick up a few things and as Sunday is Julie’s only day off this week, I agreed to walk across to our local supermarket and do the shopping in that last hour before they shut.

Things didn’t start well. I hadn’t got to the front door of our flat on the way out before I noticed the canvas, reusable shopping bag that Julie had left by the door for me. I object to having to take my own bag to the supermarket. It annoys me that the supermarkets don’t care enough about the environment to give you a biodegradable bag to put your groceries in. Instead they hand you a horrible plastic bag and make you feel like it’s YOUR fault that THEY don’t care about the environment and it’s up to YOU to fix it by bringing your own hippy canvas bag.

So now I’m in the supermarket trying to juggle a shopping basket, a hippy bag and my phone which has the shopping list on it. The hippy bag was too big to go in the basket without half filling it up and the handle wasn’t long enough to get it over my shoulder, it was a nuisance.

Eventually, I got everything I needed and headed for the checkout. There were only minutes remaining before the Sunday shopping curfew kicked in so things were getting hectic. That’s when I spotted an empty self-service checkout and decided to go for it.

This turned out to be a mistake. I put the hippy bag down in the “bagging area” and tried to scan my first item. It didn’t recognise it. I tried five times but it wasn’t having any of it. I honestly believe the only way we’ll get them to improve these flaky machines is to bring in a rule that says if it doesn’t recognise an item after three swipes, you get it for free.

With no assistant on hand to help me out, I picked up my basket and went in search of a checkout that was manned by a human being. I found one at the other end of the shop where incredibly, a lady was placing the divider in front of a gaping space of empty rubber conveyor belt. I plonked my basket down to stake my claim to this prime real estate. That’s when I remembered I’d left the hippy bag at the self-service checkout.

I sprinted back to the other end of the shop, side-stepping frustrated pro-capitalist, anti-sabbath shoppers who were desperate to get to the checkouts before the clock struck 4pm, the time of the socio-biblical apocalypse.

When I got back to Roboshop, I found that the hippy bag was gone! It had been stolen by someone who cares more about the environment than they do about the rightful ownership of property!

So I ended up taking my shopping home in a horrible plastic bag anyway!

Craic on!

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