Karzy Kamikaze


The toilet seat went, “BANG!” as it hit the top of the toilet at work today. It was only behaving the way it should when I deliberately let go of it instead of lowering it gently but I wasn’t expecting it to just drop like that.

It’s all because we’ve replaced our toilet seat at home with one that doesn’t obey the laws of Newtonian mechanics. It’s a Japanese “soft close” toilet seat. When you let it go, it closes slowly and silently. I’ve just got use to dropping the seat and letting it make an automatic soft landing.

Just like koi carp and knotweed, this latest invader from the Land of the Rising Sun will eventually take over from the native variety.

These new toilet seats are the latest craze and as they become more popular, everyone will get used to just letting go of them. Eventually all of the bog standard ones will be broken and have to be replaced with a Jappy Happy Crappy.

Crap on!

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