Bird Brain


Why are pigeons so slow first thing in the morning? Later in the day, they’re fine but every morning on my way to work, I have to brake for them.

They stand in the middle of the road as I approach and look as if they’re waiting for me to kill them. As I hit the brakes, with the front of the car dipping, they take off.

Now I don’t like pigeons but I don’t want to kill them either. It happened again this morning just before five. It was annoying because I had the car washed yesterday. Imagine the mess a pigeon would make on a clean car!

My theory is that pigeons don’t actually like being pigeons and they don’t like having to get up so early just to get that worm. They’re really depressed first thing in the morning. They see a car coming and decide to commit suicide.

As the car approaches, they remember how much fun it is to poop on cars that were only washed the day before. Then they cheer up and change their minds.

Craic on!

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