The Most Moving Top 20.

05Dec13

Julie and I have rented 15 houses and flats in three different countries in the 26 years we’ve been married. If you’re about to move into a rental and are a less experienced tenant, here’s my top 20 things we’ve learned along the way.

1.  When an estate agent shows you rental properties, only the very last one they show you will actually be fit for human habitation.

2.  On any viewing the estate agent will be short of one key.

3.  Estate agents never clean the inside of their cars.

4.  Every removal man will tell you he’s moved someone famous.

5.  You will only throw things out AFTER you have paid to move them hundreds of miles.

6.  It doesn’t matter where you move to, the internet takes twenty-eight days to connect.

7.  Estate agents will always tell you the name of the best pub to get a meal in locally. You will never go there.

8.  The lease will say “no pets” but if you pay the full asking price you will be allowed two cats.

9.  You’re new property will shrink in size by approximately one quarter between your last viewing and moving in day.

10. The curtains you saw on the viewing will also disappear by moving day.

11. When you are given a set of keys for your new place, one of the keys won’t open any lock in the property.

12. You will have to buy at least two sets of curtains or blinds.

13. The person who rents the flat directly above you will weigh the same as a pregnant elephant. You will never meet this person.

14. On day 4 in your new place you will report a water leak. The landlord and estate agent will say they already know about this leak.

15. The new flat will come complete with three random items that belong to the Landlord.

16. One light switch in the new property won’t do anything.

17. None of the spare light bulbs from your old flat will fit any of the fittings in the new one.

18. Your new flat will cost approximately £25 more a month to rent than the last one, regardless of it’s relative size.

19. None of the people who said they would visit you once you move will ever visit.

20. You will decide that this move will be the last one.

Craic On!

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