The Late Graham Mack



The whole world is out to lunch. No one is paying attention!

Yesterday I woke up late, didn’t shower or shave, sat in front of my computer and checked my email. It was chilly so rather than putting the central heating on, I put on my hooded sweatshirt. I opened an email sent at 10:03am from a Samsung mobile device that said, “Sorry I’m running late, will be there soon”. I checked my Google Calendar and sure enough, I was due to meet a lady from a PR company in town at a restaurant at 10am, it was now 10:15! I swear I heard the music from the shower scene in Psycho.

It was an important meeting; I was supposed to be talking to the lady from the PR company about some paying work they could put my way. I grabbed my keys and ran out to the car. It had just started to rain, not heavy enough for me to go back and get my coat but enough for me to put the hood up on my sweatshirt. I hadn’t grabbed the fob but had the car key, so opened the car door ‘old school’ style by putting it in the keyhole and turning it.

I found an open-air shoppers car park near the restaurant. It was almost full and people were busy coming and going. I eventually found a space, parked and ran to the pay and display machine. That’s when I found out I didn’t have any change.

I remembered there was some change in the car’s ash tray. I ran back to the car, the nearest door was on the passenger side so I put the key in there, turned it, the door opened and the alarm went off! It turns out that without the fob, if you use the key on anything but the driver’s door, you set off the alarm. It was now echoing around the car park.  

I wasn’t going to mess about, shutting the door, locking it with the key then run around to the other side and unlock that door in the rain, the ashtray was right there. I leaned in and grabbed a handful of change. Then I ran towards the pay machine expecting the alarm to stop once the door shut. It didn’t! 

Now time slowed down, with the alarm blaring, the pay and display machine seemed to take ages to give me a ticket. It eventually did, I got back to the car, opened the right door and the alarm stopped. I put the ticket on the dash and made it to my meeting, out of breath, wet and very late. I don’t think it went well.

What I don’t understand is this; in a world where everyone has a phone on them, how come a disheveled, unshaven bloke in a hoodie can lean into a parked car in a busy car park, with the car alarm blaring, frantically scoop money from inside the car and run off, without anyone calling the police? I should have been arrested.

At least then I would have had a decent excuse for being late.

Craic on!

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