Mack’s Craic


Social Insecurity

I’m not a fan of social media, by that I mean Facebook. I prefer Twitter, which people keep calling social media but it isn’t. Twitter is a “micro blogging site” and I like blogging. I just can’t be bothered with Facebook, so I’ve linked my Twitter feeds to it. Now all of my tweets end up on there without me having to do anything. What I don’t get about Facebook is how I have so many “friends”. I don’t know most of these people, how can they be my friend? On Twitter I have, “followers”, that’s much better! Derelict buildings and parks have “friends” but “followers are what Gandhi, Christ and the Dalai Lama have, so I’m with them.

Well now there’s a new thing coming out, it’s a Facebook phone. I don’t know what the point of that is or how it works. I hope it doesn’t mean that people who pretend to be my friend can call and bother me!

Now that I’ve successfully combined Twitter with Facebook, maybe I should go all the way and combine them both with Youtube and create one massive time-wasting website called “YouTwitFace”!

Can you believe it’s Spring? I asked people who listen to me on Jack FM to call and tell me “Ways to tell it’s ACTUALLY Spring”. My favorites included, “That thing on Elton John’s head has lost it’s winter coat”, “Autumn fashions have appeared in the shops” and “Owners of garden centers are so excited they’ve wet their plants!” but the best one of all was, “You can tell it’s ACTUALLY Spring because George Osborne is parking a CONVERTIBLE in disabled spaces!”

Talking of cars, new figures show we’re using a lot less petrol and diesel these days. Consumption has been falling since 2007. I bet that’s why fuel has never been more expensive. Cars are more efficient so the fuel companies have had to put the price up so they don’t miss out. So thank you Toyota Prius drivers, happy now?

The first mobile phone call was made forty years ago this week. I bet it went something like this, “Can you hear me now…? How about now…?”. I’m pretty sure the first mobile phone call most people made was to their mother and went, “Guess where I am…?”

It turns out that some cod and haddock being sold in Britain is being mislabeled. When it says “cod” it could actually be cod-cod and when it says “haddock” that could be a load of pollocks! After what happened over meat mis-labeling, I just hope it’s not seahorse meat!

The more I think about my dislike of social media, the more I realize that I’d prefer “anti-social media”. Maybe I should develop a site where I can list people I don’t want to have anything to do with and call it, “Get-out-of-my-Facebook”.

Craic on!

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