Mack’s Craic

12Mar13

Driving me crazy!

Why can’t people leave things alone? When something is working perfectly well, there are always people determined to mess with it.

You used to be able to get a simple sandwich in this country but not now. There was a time when if you ordered a ham, chicken, cheese or tuna sandwich, that’s what you got. Not now though, now it comes with lettuce, watercress, tomato, onion, herbs and some kind of mystery “dressing”. Someone who thinks they know what you want better than you do, has decided when you said, “cheese”, you actually meant “salad” with a hint of grated cheese served on a type of bread you can’t pronounce covered with the seeds of a plant you’ve never heard of.

You can’t even order something as basic as a glass of water any more. Now it comes with ice and lemon. And don’t get me started on that dessert with a swirl they give you now instead of a cup of white coffee.

The same thing has happened to roundabouts. Once, they were the simplest of all intersections. All you had to do was give way to anyone who’s already on the roundabout, that’s all.

Eventually some genius fresh out of planning school decided that some roundabouts should have traffic lights on them. To me, that just says, “OK, we give up, let’s see how you go with coloured lights”. A roundabout with traffic lights on it is the duck-billed platypus of intersection evolution. If that wasn’t confusing enough, now we have roundabouts with “Temporary traffic lights”.

So now instead of just giving way to anyone who’s already on a roundabout, now you have to look out for traffic lights. If they’re there and they’re not working, you have to work out if they’re broken or just “temporary”.

And you have to do all this while not being distracted by the massive, rusty “sculpture” or giant running man made of chicken wire they’ve put in the middle of the roundabout! Yes, public “art” on roundabouts; nobody wants it and nobody appreciates it but we’re all paying for it, just like that jungle of lawn clippings between two pieces of focaccia that arrives after you ordered a cheese sandwich.

Craic on!

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