Mack’s Craic


Yellow Alert

What is the point of yellow cars?

The papers made a big deal recently about Tom Cruise’ son Connor arriving at a fashion party in Los Angeles in a brand new yellow Lamborghini. They made more of the fact that it was a Lamborghini than it was a YELLOW Lamborghini.

If you can afford to buy a car that cost more than most people spend on a house, why would you buy a yellow one? You can get one that’s silver, black or red for the same price!

Yellow is a comedy colour, it’s not a good colour for a car. There’s a reason that new cars that break down a lot are called “lemons”. A man slipping on an orange peel has the same effect as slipping on a banana peel but the banana peel is funnier because it’s yellow.

Yellow is the colour of puke, puss, no parking and snow when it’s been peed on.

Yellow is not cool. The Beatles masterpiece album Revolver is ruined by Yellow Submarine, it was the colour of the ribbon Tony Orlando and Dawn tied around the old oak tree and Coldplay’s biggest hit was called “Yellow”.

It’s the colour of cowardice, wasps, dead leaves, and B roads on AA road maps.

He’s lucky he was driving his yellow car in LA. If he was in New York at night, he’d be dodging drunks running into the road trying to hail him.

Yellow is the color of visibility and caution. That’s why it’s used by rescue helicopters, radiation warning signs and football referees.

I tried to find cool cars that are yellow, there aren’t any. James Bond’s DB5 is silver, the Batmobile is black and Magnum, Starsky & Hutch and even the Monkees car was red.

The only yellow car that’s made it onto a TV show is the Trotter’s three wheel Reliant.

I bet when Del Boy finally became a millionaire it was the first thing he traded in.

Craic on!

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