Mack’s Craic

08Sep12
It isn't hard to do

It isn’t hard to do

When I was at school the teachers used to call me a dreamer. These days I’m often called a pessimist. Both labels are meant as a negative and both miss the mark, especially ‘pessimist’. That description over-simplifies it. I’m actually a disillusioned optimist. I know that things can be better and it frustrates me.

I know that Liverpool FC should always win, good should triumph over evil and there should be a special place reserved in hell for people who suddenly appear in front of me and get to the vacant ATM just before I do, then spend longer using it than if they’d actually queued up in the bank.

I’m so frustrated; it’s more of an obsession. In fact I may be O.C.D.. Wait, that should be C.D.O. That way the letters are in the correct alphabetical order.

It’s the things that are easy to change that bother me the most. I used to work for a radio station that had a charity called “Cash for Kids”.  Now that would sound better if it was “Quids for Kids”. It’s like the brainstorming meeting ended too early. Another sixty seconds and surely someone would have shouted, “No, wait, what about ‘QUIDS for Kids’?” but no, they’d probably moved on to other vital radio station business like deciding if the station was ‘Today’s Best Music’, ‘Today’s Best Mix’, or ‘The Best Mix of Today’s Music’. I’ve never understood why radio stations get their presenters to keep saying that the radio station’s music is the best. The listener will decide that for themselves. It’s as if radio station Program Directors think they can teach radio presenters to perform Jedi mind tricks. Let’s face it, most disc jockeys are hardly Obi-Wan Kenobi. That scene in Star Wars wouldn’t have worked nearly as well if it was a local radio jock that was confronted by storm troopers, “These are not the droids you’re looking for but if you can identify ‘The Secret Sound’ and tell me the ‘Phrase That Pays’ and you’re caller number nine, you could win tickets to see the droids you ARE looking for in the next hour”.

It bothers me that the names of things don’t get updated. Some things have outgrown their original name. The postal service is now one of the slowest ways to send information; it should be called “The Royal Snail”!

Do you remember the kids TV show Catweazle? He was an 11th century wizard who accidentally traveled through time to the twentieth century. He called electricity, “elec-trickery”. The way the energy companies’ bills are laid out, that should be the word we use to describe what they’re selling!

It winds me up when two words are used when one will do. Why aren’t “disassembly instructions” called “Destructions”?

Calling a disillusioned optimist, a ‘pessimist’ doesn’t solve anything. How are things ever going to get better if we just accept the way things are? Thomas Edison said, “Discontent is the first necessity of progress”, Albert Einstein said, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”  One of the world’s greatest disillusioned optimists was John Lennon, just listen to the lyrics to ‘Imagine’!

If one of my ex-school teachers is reading this; you may say I’m a dreamer; well I’m not the only one.

Craic on!

Check out the Mack Nuggets at www.mackmedia.co.uk .

Listen to the Graham Mack Breakfast Show Podcasts on iTunes.

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