Mack’s Craic

16Jun12
McCloud Cuckoo Land

McCloud Cuckoo Land

I’ve got an idea for a TV show. I got the inspiration when I heard the news that Kevin McCloud from ‘Grand Designs’ won’t be building more eco-homes in Swindon.

I started thinking about ‘Grand Designs’, if you haven’t seen it, let me describe a typical episode. It’s a documentary about a couple who build their dream home. They have no experience in building and decide to build in a completely different way, ignoring tried and tested building techniques. They borrow more than they can afford, run out of money, live in a caravan while it’s being built, take twice as long to finish it as they planned, fall out with everyone along the way and spend most of their time sitting in the rain waiting for the glass.

They talk to Kevin about the five hundred thousands pounds cash they put into the project in the first place and then along the way keep saying they’ve had to borrow another hundred thousand here and another four hundred thousand there and end up 3.2 million pounds in debt and live in a house that they pretend to like that’s only worth about six hundred thousand but they can’t sell it because no one wants to buy it because it’s too unusual.

The show I’d like to see is the prequel. The show wouldn’t start with shots of the muddy field and the dilapidated goat shed and the couple talking about how they’re going to turn it into a contemporary interpretation of a neo-gothic art deco eco-friendly faux-Georgian terrace with exposed beams. The show would answer the question everybody asks when they watch Grand Designs, “How did these two idiots get so rich?”

“Grand Ideas”, would explain how they made their money when clearly, they’re not very good with money. We’d find out how they could afford to take two years off work and talk the bank manager that loaned them over a million pounds to pay for a project when it was obvious they had no idea what they were doing. We’d also find out what that bank manager is doing now because there’s no way he’s still working for the bank.

I think “Grand Ideas” would be a big hit. All I need to do now is work out how you get the money to put a show on TV that explains how you get money to build a house when you’ve no idea what you’re doing. Has anyone ever made a show about how you get the money to put a show on TV when you’ve got no idea what you’re doing? Hey, there’s an idea for another show!

I’m on a roll now! If only that bloke was still working at that bank.

Craic on!

Check out the Mack Nuggets at www.mackmedia.co.uk .

Listen to the Graham Mack Breakfast Show Podcasts on iTunes.

 

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