03Oct11

5 Euro well spent.

You should be able to read this week’s craic a bit quicker. I’ve raised the speed limit to 80 miles an hour.

The big news is it’s our 24th wedding anniversary. As I typed that, I misspelled “anniversary” and the spell-check corrected it as “antislavery”.  Julie and I always go away to a European city for our antislavery. This year, we chose Hamburg in Germany.

The day before we left, I realized I need to watch my weight. I’d been up and dressed for hours before I noticed I didn’t have my belt on. A couple of days later when I did have my belt on, my trousers were falling down. I think I ate so much in Hamburg that my belly got so big it expanded OVER my belt. I had eaten through to the other side.

Heathrow is a funny place. You always see billboard adverts there for things you don’s see anywhere else. I saw an ad for the “Official water of the 2012 Olympic Games”. Hang on, it’s WATER! Once it’s out of the bottle, how are you going to prove the water you’re drinking is the official water? It’s not like Coca-Cola where the recipe is a closely guarded secret. The ingredients are in its scientific name, H20. That’s two parts hydrogen, one part oxygen. No only that, but two thirds of the earth’s surface is covered with the stuff, good luck at the patents office with that one!

Airports are too big. We walked for what must have been twenty minutes to get to the gate. That’s the thing I don’t like about flying, all the walking.  When we finally got on the plane, we taxied to the runway for another twenty minutes. It’s 447 miles fromLondontoHamburg. I’m sure we walked seven from the terminal to the gate, taxied forty to the runway and then only actually flew the last 400!

Talking of taxiing, when we arrived in Hamburg, in the cab to the hotel. I noticed  the driver was playing chess on his phone. He was doing really well against the computer. What I can’t work out is why a bloke who is smart enough to beat a computer at chess, isn’t clever enough to realize that playing chess on his phone WHILE he’s driving is dangerous!

At least he wasn’t drunk. They’re obsessed with drinking in Germany, even their word for “please” is the name of a beer! The food was very good though. We even found something typically British, an Indian restaurant. The best bit was they had a belly dancer. Was I wrong to put a five euro note in her waistband?

Thanks for all of the Mack’s Facts you’ve been calling into the radio show. Here’s my favorite ten from this week:

1.   If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough.

2.  The hero is no braver than the ordinary man. He’s just braver for a bit longer.

3.  Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.

4.  You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle these three things; a rainy day, lost luggage or tangled Christmas tree lights.

5.  It takes twenty years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it.

6.  Go the extra mile, it’s never crowded.

7.  You may not be there yet but you’re closer than you were yesterday.

8.  The most wasted day of all is a day without laughter.

9.  Just because someone is there all the time, doesn’t mean you can take them for granted.

10. You can’t MAKE money unless you’re a counterfeiter or the government. Money has to be earned.

Craic to normal!

Check out the Mack Nuggets at www.mackmedia.co.uk .

Listen to the Graham Mack Breakfast Show Podcast on iTunes.


Graham

Advertisements


%d bloggers like this: