Mack’s Craic


Still no change.

People don’t cope with change; the slightest thing throws them off balance. You should have seen it when the staff showed up at work and noticed the new coffee machine. They looked it up and down suspiciously then reached out, touched it then pulled their hands back in quickly. It was like when the apes first noticed the obelisk in “2001: A Space Odyssey”.

The second band practice for the new Graham Mack Rock Band went well. We had to rehearse at 9:00am on Saturday morning because the drummer had promised his wife he’d sort out their garden. I hope she lets him out for gigs!

If you remember, after the apes touched the obelisk, they turned carnivorous. A similar thing has happened with the new coffee machine, only it’s the machine itself that’s turned all aggressive. It’s stopped giving out change; it eats your money, its “coinivorous”.

You’ve probably heard about Kelly Coxhead from Swindon who’s so desperate for her boyfriend to marry her that she’s turned to FaceBook. Could she just be desperate to have her last name changed from Coxhead?

Maybe the staff were right to be suspicious of the new coffee machine, it’s so dishonest. The way it works is you take a sachet of coffee powder and put it in the slot. While it’s making your drink a display lights up and says “Your freshly ground espresso is being brewed”. It’s fooling no one; Not only have I tasted the coffee it makes, I’m the one who put the sachet in there. I know there’s nothing fresh or ground about what I’m about to drink.

The BBC has entered my show for a Sony Radio Award. My Mum is so proud, she told my auntie Hazel on the phone that I’m up for a “Tony”.

Maybe our new coffee machine that doesn’t give change is a Buddhist and it’s just reminding us all that, “change must come from within”.

Craicing down!

Check out the Mack Nuggets at .



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