Mack’s Craic


Fish Food.

That Ray Mears has been on TV again talking about how to survive when there’s not much food about. He wouldn’t have to worry about finding food if he actually lived inside the telly. Every time I switch mine on there’s always someone cooking or eating.

My internet at home keeps cutting out. Now my service provider wants £50 for an engineer to come out and fix it. Hang on a minute, it’s THEIR equipment, why do I have to pay? I’m already paying every month for something I’m not getting, surely they owe ME money!

Have you ever had fish eat your feet? It’s called a fish pedicure. I had it done the other day, I didn’t like it. People actually pay to stick their feet in water that’s full of fish that eat the dead skin off. It’s not my thing at all. The people who run the place were nice enough but it was like being in a cross between a massage parlor, a strip club and a Bond villan’s lair. I had to concentrate really hard on not shouting, “Piranha!”


Why do bin trucks think it’s OK to block the whole street? They can see you stuck behind them but don’t look as if they’re emptying the bins any faster. Maybe they do it because when they do eventually drive off they get to experience what it’s like to lead a parade.

The Graham Mack Rock Band is taking shape. This week, we’re adding a bass player and drummer. I’ll let you know when you can see us at our first gig.

That Ray Mears must be good at finding food when there’s not much about. Look at him, he hasn’t missed many meals.

Craic to the Future!

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