Mack’s Craic.

30Aug10

Proof of alien abduction.

Well it Looks like Nick Clegg will have to add “baby sitting” to his list of important responsibilities. David and Samantha Cameron gave their new baby girl a Cornish name, “Florence Rose Endellion”. I’m guessing the Cornish bit is “Endellion” which is a bit too close to “dandelion” for me. Still, it could have been worse, “Pasty”, “Bodmin” and “Lizard” are all Cornish but rubbish names for a girl. “Rose” is a nice name and like dandelion, another flower. I bet she’s called “Florence” after the ping pong ball headed character in The Magic Roundabout. So a Cornish connection AND a Swindon one.

If you’re car is playing up but you think you’ll make it home, DON’T! My sister’s car was making a funny noise, so as soon as she got home she called her breakdown service. They charged £90 for a “home visit”. If your car ever won’t start, push it as far away from your house as possible before you call for assistance. Obviously people who live at the bottom of hills are being discriminated against here but hey, I don’t make the rules!

Talking of family, that reminds me. It’s funny how changing one word in a book’s title can totally change what kind of book you think it is. I was talking to my mum on the phone the other day and she said she’d been given a book for her birthday called, “How to Kill a Mockingbird”. Yes, adding that word “how” to the title has changed it from a classic of modern American literature dealing with rape and racial inequality, into a DIY book on ornithological eradication. After she’s read it, she may well see Atticus Finch as an enduring image of racial heroism, but I bet she’s disappointed the book doesn’t reveal how not even one, never mind two mockingbirds can be killed with one stone.

I had pizza for lunch in a restaurant today. It wasn’t served on a plate; instead it was served on a chopping board. They must be behind on the washing up! Hey, we’ve all done it. I can’t be the only one that’s stirred a cup of tea with a bread knife.  

Something spooky is going on. One of the pounds in my pocket is actually a 20 Euro cents coin. Last week I must have been to Europe. The weird thing is, I have no memory of ever being there! Could I have been abducted by aliens, taken somewhere in Europe, brought back and had my memory erased? Why did they only take me to Europe? Why not their home planet? The only logical explanation is that they weren’t space aliens, they were just illegal aliens!

Maybe the new Cameron baby should have been called “Austerity”!

Craic a jack!

 

Check out the Mack Nuggets at www.mackmedia.co.uk .

 

Graham

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